Dancing With Our Stars (V)

God's Faithfulness

I know I wanted to write about salvation but have forgotten what was running through my mind. I guess that leaves all the more room for God's words instead of mine.

I would love to get a bumper sticker or a T-shirt that said:
"Being Christian doesn't mean I'm good enough to get to Heaven, it means I know I'm NOT good enough to go without some help."

Salvation is not about good Christian principles, morals, values or even beliefs. It's about acknowledging sin, repenting and accepting Christ's invitation for forgiveness through his death on the cross.

Done deal. We can never and will never be able to earn it. It's a gift and anyone can have it. Anyone. Without it, you will literally stand alone on judgement day.

Some might not see this as truth. I guess some day we shall see.

I don't want anyone to miss this party. Just know if you are reading this, I'm praying for you, so you'd better watch out!

Five Stages of Grief

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Definitely at stage 2. Denial happened before my uncles death, thinking that it might not happen especially after he seemed to get a little better. Now I'm angry. Mad that things couldn't have played out differently in his life. Not really blaming anyone in particular, maybe myself for not praying for him more or spending more time with him. In general, taking time for granted. I feel like this is a wake up call. It will take some major work to keep from looking back. Work that the Lord is going to have to help me with. From this point on...

1. Don't make excuses, make time count.
2. Remember what the goal is, souls for God's kingdom.
5. Love because that is what God has called us to do.
6. Speak truth because it needs to be known.
7. Pray because it's all in God's hands.

More strong feelings to write about but I might save those postings until I've worked through them more. If I really am in stage 2, not looking forward to the rest.

Eating My Words

Just about the time you proclaim something is just about the time you are faced with a challenge to what you just said. I was hopeful and certain my uncle Daryl was going to be around for a while longer despite what the doctors had told us. I had read into his very minor improvements, as several others had done, and began to wonder what was really going to happen. I was sure he wasn't going to live a long normal life, but the way things were going I thought there was more life to be lived. As the doctors had warned, it was only days after he was removed from drugs and machines that he died. It was a roller coaster that thankfully didn't continue endlessly. I'm still in disbelief. Though it wasn't completely unexpected after the events of the last month, it will be hard to say good-bye to him. As we get older, death just keeps getting closer. Not just our death, but the death of those around us. Our percentages increase and it could always be right around the corner from any of us. I was up one night this week thinking of those closest to him. Could have anyone have guessed the end to this story a month ago? How will this change the course of those close to him and to all of this? Hopefully all for God's glory which of course would also be for the benefit of all.

The Rollercoaster

And it the ain't the one at Sky Rock Farm. It's the one that the family and I are on with my uncle. We've been told twice now that the end was near and then Daryl seems to make a mini turn around. Nothing major, his prognoses is still grim, but sometimes he seems to be making baby steps in the right direction. Seems whatever is going to happen is going to be slow. God's still in it, so I'm glad. One day at a time I guess.

My Mom and Dads Surprise Party (P)

I started planning a combined surprise 60th birthday party for my parents just before I got laid off, sent out the invites end of June and prayed for good weather. Saturday was a TAD bit windy, especially being close to the lake, but it went well. The element of surprise was really in my court since my dad turned 60 in March and my mom doesn't turn 60 until November (so don't tell her she's 60 yet! ;o) I had a TON of help, so grateful I didn't have to do it by myself and it was so nice to see everyone.

Death and Dying

We all think about it especially when we lose someone close to us. My uncle Daryl has been in the hospital for a month now and, as my uncle Jim has stated, will never be released. The last time I saw him was at my cousin wedding mid-July. He was sharing with everyone that we had prostate cancer and was going to have surgery to remove it (or what ever they do). No matter what he told us I think the truth of it all was in his eyes. He did not look hopeful. It turns out there was a lot more going on then just the cancer, which has been revealed over the last month. The cancer brought him in but the liver and kidneys are taking him out. The fact of alcoholism is still of great debate in our family. Some say for sure, some say no way. His son, which he lived with, is one who has said it is almost certain. I really risk pissing some people off by writing, if anyone will ever read it, I don't know. Sure I saw the guy drink, we all did. But like with so many people, who could ever be sure of how much? For years now I have seen a similar look in Daryl's eyes. I could be reading too much into the events of his life, but I saw a broken man. In many ways I see a broken family. Now, I don't have any brothers and sisters so I don't know how it goes, but it seems to me like many family's suffer from distance and disconnect. I'm biased. If I had brothers and sisters I would hope they would be my best friends. I've created brothers and sisters for myself out of my friends and in-laws. All I want is to break the silence and dwell in the truth but perhaps that is too idealistic/unrealistic to the reality of family structure. It, however, is exactly what God wants for His family. I know that much. I don't know if it is God's will to heal my uncle, so far I am not getting that vibe. I keep praying to find peace, especially for Daryl's salvation which is the greatest of all treasures and I'm sure something God does want most intensely if Daryl does not already posses it. That is left in Daryl's hands/heart, just as it is with all of us. I wondered in the darkness of my bedroom last night how it must feel knowing that death is just outside the door, waiting. I could almost imagine the fear and loneliness. I would hope that for myself, as well as others, I would be able to bring Jesus into that darkness, to find peace in the comforting promise of eternal life with Him. The comfort that comes from having the familiarity of a friend at my side though it all. And not just any friend, my Father in Heaven, my Creator. I just need to hang on to that mental picture and pray for it for Daryl.

I need to go. My mother has called and made it clear that once they stop the medications/machines later this week, death is certain. Life with Jesus, only God and Daryl know for certain.