Death and Dying

We all think about it especially when we lose someone close to us. My uncle Daryl has been in the hospital for a month now and, as my uncle Jim has stated, will never be released. The last time I saw him was at my cousin wedding mid-July. He was sharing with everyone that we had prostate cancer and was going to have surgery to remove it (or what ever they do). No matter what he told us I think the truth of it all was in his eyes. He did not look hopeful. It turns out there was a lot more going on then just the cancer, which has been revealed over the last month. The cancer brought him in but the liver and kidneys are taking him out. The fact of alcoholism is still of great debate in our family. Some say for sure, some say no way. His son, which he lived with, is one who has said it is almost certain. I really risk pissing some people off by writing, if anyone will ever read it, I don't know. Sure I saw the guy drink, we all did. But like with so many people, who could ever be sure of how much? For years now I have seen a similar look in Daryl's eyes. I could be reading too much into the events of his life, but I saw a broken man. In many ways I see a broken family. Now, I don't have any brothers and sisters so I don't know how it goes, but it seems to me like many family's suffer from distance and disconnect. I'm biased. If I had brothers and sisters I would hope they would be my best friends. I've created brothers and sisters for myself out of my friends and in-laws. All I want is to break the silence and dwell in the truth but perhaps that is too idealistic/unrealistic to the reality of family structure. It, however, is exactly what God wants for His family. I know that much. I don't know if it is God's will to heal my uncle, so far I am not getting that vibe. I keep praying to find peace, especially for Daryl's salvation which is the greatest of all treasures and I'm sure something God does want most intensely if Daryl does not already posses it. That is left in Daryl's hands/heart, just as it is with all of us. I wondered in the darkness of my bedroom last night how it must feel knowing that death is just outside the door, waiting. I could almost imagine the fear and loneliness. I would hope that for myself, as well as others, I would be able to bring Jesus into that darkness, to find peace in the comforting promise of eternal life with Him. The comfort that comes from having the familiarity of a friend at my side though it all. And not just any friend, my Father in Heaven, my Creator. I just need to hang on to that mental picture and pray for it for Daryl.

I need to go. My mother has called and made it clear that once they stop the medications/machines later this week, death is certain. Life with Jesus, only God and Daryl know for certain.