Change

I was told that I should write because it's been a while. At that given moment I was thinking to myself "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all." I wanted so badly to vent about this and that but I really don't know what good it would do. It would just reinforce my negative thoughts. What I really need is a good douse of truth. This has been a rough couple of weeks. The lay off, illness, sick kids, travel with the holiday... Brady has been changing so much, I can't believe my little boy has got two teeth. It all takes adjustment. My sleep has been suffering and our schedules have been, well, unscheduled. Haylie seems to be more of a handful every day, so emotional too. I don't know if we're doing something wrong or what. So many things waiting to get done. Now Christmas is nearing not to mention a whole new year. I have no idea what my future holds. Something wonderful I hope. ;o) I know I'll be working either at an office or here at home. An office would be nice because that would mean I could get out of the house. But at the office I don't get to see my kids, the house suffers, the family suffers. It's not an easy job, staying at home. I don't even no if I will get the opportunity to do it. I am for now. I'll have to make the best of it. And that's where I get over whelmed. Trying to be super mom, super wife, super homemaker. I want everything in order, in it's place, and planned out. I look back and I see all the "I's". If I could just let those go. I will have too. ;o)
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

Luke 18:1-8
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'
"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "
And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

Sad Sunday

Some people get sad on Sundays because their weekend is over. Tonight I couldn't help but to feel a little sad because I'm not going to work tomorrow. Last week at this time I was totally unaware of the fact that the next day was going to be my last in the Real Estate and Development department at Life Time Fitness.
I started teaching aerobics at LTF in January of 1999 while I was home in the Cities doing my internship. I continued after graduating in May and getting a job at Carlson Marketing Group. A year later, things at Carlson had really slowed down for me. One morning after working out I decided to pop my head in the members activities office to speak to someone about yoga. The member activities person (Rachael Carlson) was one smooth talker and before I knew it I was teaching preschool adventure days and kids club classes. My job at Carlson all but stopped so I decided it was time to find a job somewhere else. Rachael put me in contact with someone in HR (wish I could remember her name) at the corporate head quarters. The HR lady told me of an opening in Real Estate and Development with the REALLY COOL guy Robert Salazar (she actually said that, gosh I wish I could remember her name!!). The position he was looking to fill was for a Competitive Intelligences Research Analyst. I could not for the life of me remember the first two words but thought I would give it a try. After talking to Robert I quickly realized it was right down my alley, something a geography major would actually do with their degree (even though my emphasis was travel and tourism ;o). I was excited, Robert was excited and I think Mark (our VP) was maybe a little excited too. (During the interview process it came up that I had worked with maps and done a study on a local health club in St. Cloud, perfect fit, right?!?!) Well, I pretty much excepted the job on the spot (which I KNOW you're not supposed to do, probably why Mark was excited) but that's all history now. Robert IS a really cool manager and he has put together a team of REALLY COOL people, time and time again. Now Real Estate and Development has been reduced to about the same size it was when I started. Of course research processes have changed a great deal. It's neat to think I was a part of it. It's sad to think I don't get to grow that position anymore (I was working more with our mapping software then competitive intelligence aka CI by the time I left). Perhaps I out grew it. I haven't had to look for a job in eight and a half years. It didn't even seem like much of a job hunt the first couple of times, they were almost handed to me. I hear it's a little different now. (This is beginning to sound a little bit like a divorce. It's time for me to get out and start dating again. ;o)
If it's God's will for me to go back to work I hope and pray God will find me the perfect job, just like he did before.
I will of course keep you all posted.

What Are They Doing Now?

Two days post-lay-off. I've baked two loaves of banana bread, I know Kristine baked at least one loaf of pumpkin. People are traveling, interviewing, sleeping in, unable to sleep, pretty much anything goes. Now I'm sick. YUK! I need to go to bed but am afraid I'll be up at 2, like some people, if I go to bed too early. My awesome manager created a new group for us on Facebook. It's nice to still be a part of RE&D.
I texted, Lord help me, it could get to be a new thing. ;o) I guess that's what this is all about though, right?
Well before I get sucked in anymore tonight...goodnight!
Oh, I had a funny dream. I was packing up my office and Jackie was laughing at me and trying on my glasses from the 80's (she looked smashing)that I had stashed in a drawer (really don't) and Marzel Harris (HR) wouldn't talk to me anymore. I must have finally pissed him off by coming to visit him with all my HR issues. And I was just trying to say good-bye too.
OK...discuss. ;o)

A Day Like No Other (P)

It is my first time. Getting laid off, that is. One by one led into the conference room, then to our desks, out the door and finally welcomed to the Legion by those who were led before us. To be followed by even more. It can't seriously be only Monday. It feels like a whole week went by today. Just shy of 10 years with The Company. This is not how I wanted to go. It seems there is no rhyme or reason but I'm sure thoughtfully planned out more then I'll ever realize. It's not like it's uncommon. A lot of people I know have lost jobs at one time or another. It's tough your first time because you are brought to terms with the fact that it "can happen to me". Still kind of numb as I'm sure the people who are left are. Tomorrow they still have to go to work, surrounded by empty cubes and offices, their friends gone. Well, OK, not gone (we didn't die), but it sure feels that way a little. Nothing like trying to e-mail someone, moments after you see them walk by, only to have your e-mail sent back. It's like an execution. Now I know why it's called the chopping block, because it really feels that way. A home that you lived and walked freely in that you're no longer a part of. Business will go on without me/us.

All good things do end. I doubt I will ever work with a group like that again. Even though we had to go, I'm glad we got to go together. I hope the people left can pull together quickly and become something stronger.

It hurts.

It sucks.

It really DID happen.
I trust that this is God's will for me. It's a blessing. It was clearly out of my hands and now as I move forward I hope to leave it in His hands. A clean slate for all, a chance for us all to "realign". I pray my vision can be God's vision for me. Thank you Lord for this opportunity to see you at work, for me to put my trust in you. Let me be a passenger in this ride and not a road block. Help me to love and serve without fear or judgement.

Thank you Lord for all the wonderful people this job has allowed me to know and love. If you are reading this and you are one of them please know you will be thought of often and remembered always.
Love KT (in Christ)

I like to call this one "The Last Supper" The best way to end this post. It would take forever to add all the pictures I would like to and it still wouldn't express the relationships that were formed.

Do Not Worry

Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Open and Honest

Some people are more open and honest about themselves then others. There are things we all keep to ourselves to some extent. Not that I necessarily think anyone is lying to me (at least no more then they are lying to themselves ;o) Why am I on this subject? Well, it's just nice to be able to relate to others and the trials/struggles they go though. Some people either don't seem to have those same struggles or simply don't offer up their personal lives for (can't think of a word, review and comparison are the only ones coming to mind and yet they don't seem to fit 100%. I know we should never compare ourselves or anything we have to others because we always run the risk of judging them or ourselves.)
I remember a time (long ago... ;o) when I was teaching aerobics. It was a VERY early morning cycle class with loyal participants. I always tried to follow my mood and do something different to keep me and my class entertained, so one morning I decided to hand out little pieces of paper and pencils to take prayer requests. I had my class fold them up and throw them in a hat. No names. When I got home from class I opened them up and started praying for them and thanking God for the opportunity to do so. It was beautiful. People asking for their/other peoples health issues, jobs issues, martial struggles, etc. At the end, one piece of paper had really caught my attention. It was a piece that was folded up several times into a tiny little square with nothing on it. I prayed for that person, whoever they were. Can you imagine a heart folded up that same way? Were they afraid of being exposed/judged? Could they not find anything that needed prayer? Did they not believe? It's OK that they did want to share. It gave me the best opportunity to lift that person up to God and let Him decided what they needed. For myself, when it comes to sharing and prayer, I believe the squeaky wheel gets oiled. ;o) God is patient, He has all the time in the world for me to open my heart to Him. Fighting it is futile, He'll get his way sooner or later.
Matthew 11:22-25
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

Haylie (S)

Good-Bye Indian Summer, Hello Winter

McConn household signs of winter:
- Saw frozen water outside AKA ice.
- Found space in three car garage for at least my car (yes, the Neon is STILL in there!)
- Achieved pasty Minnesota white.
- Heard first Christmas song on radio, changed stations QUICKLY.
- Saw my breath.
- Finally put on an actual winter jacket.
- Bought plastic for windows.
- Haylie's obsession with birthday is finally validated, I should probably start planning.

At least the days will start to get longer in a little over a month (silver lining, right?!?)

Will We Ever be Happy?

It seems like there are a lot people who are not happy with our current president. Though he won election after no one seemed happy with our last. With this election, no one seems completely happy with either candidate. I have said myself that I can't wait for another 4 years so we can hopefully have better choices. Then I started to think, have we as Americans ever really been happy with our presidents? Sure Lincoln and Washington we good ones right, but that so so long ago does anyone actually remember why? Why does it seem that for the last two decades (or more) we've been bitching? Here's an interesting article I found. Maybe it will shed some light on the expectations were putting on one human being. No wonder they fall short. The peace we can have...God is ruler over all!

http://articles.latimes.com/2007/jan/14/opinion/op-greenberg14

She DOES Look Like Me (P)