To Love and Be Loved

Deuteronomy 15:10
Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.

The passage is talking about debt and money but when I saw this on an old church bulletin from this summer the "giving" I was thinking about was a little different. Service, obedience and submission. Giving MYSELF, giving LOVE. Sometimes it is hard to love and sometimes it's hard to feel loved. Probably because I'm centered on SELF. Whatever I have I should be willing to give to others without worry of receiving it back. How loved we would all feel if we all functioned this way. There actually was an interesting article in O magazine (not usually a huge fan of Oprah, but...) about a love fast. http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200810_omag_love_fast

Mr. Claus and Mr. Brady (P)

Pre-Holiday Pictures (P)

Forget washing the clothes, I'm going right to the source!

yes, he is getting SO BIG and I'm getting SO STRONG!!

I know, dad gets all the good pictures with the kids, though he himself may look a little rough.

Going Home

I made my first venture down to Chanhassen since the lay off and got emotional driving down even though I didn't take my usual route. Did my workout at the club and then had lunch with a few people who still work there and a couple who don't. The conversation was good, nothing negative. The three who are still there were talking about the holiday functions coming up. That was harder to hear about than how busy they have been. I knew life would go on but now there is confirmation. A holiday party... My manager (yes I know, my "ex" manager) joked and said he felt wrong going. It's been a whole month now. I've been so busy at home that I have not had time to think about things. Ya, you're right, it's good. But it's also good to remember so the mourning process can be complete. I'm not needed. The things I did are not needed. I know things are messy but they will get better and I'm sure there are things falling through the cracks with no one to pick them up. They will survive without them. They have to. Tommy joked and said I should crash the holiday party. Almost not funny. Not really tempting. I would love to hear about it and not even how much we,who were all laid off, were missed. Guess I still want to be a part of it, even if I'm not. Wonder if and when that will pass. All I know is if I get a job again, I want to be needed. Then I think...my kids need me, my husband needs me. I'm grateful for that. Will it be enough? Where does God need me? I think if I know the answer to the last question, it WILL be enough.

A New Term

I think I'm going to start a saying called "Christmas Cramming". Why do all the good ideas, that take tons of time to put together, come to you at the last minute. Maybe it feels like the last minute because so few of my minutes are free. Now as the Christmas cards/photos start pouring in I begin to regret our decision (mainly mine, because Tom has very little involvement in it) to not send one out this year. I know I'm not the only one that faces this emotion. Last minute cards, gifts, decorations, parties, even premeditated ones...the heart is in the right place but it always snowballs out of control. Whether we simply don't want to leave anyone out or are trying to keep things "even", we want others to know that they are remember, thought of often and loved. If we (I) do get a card out this year I hope that that's the message that will be heard. I believe it's the message our Lord would want sent.

Thank You Miss Caroline (P)

A Christmas Story

From a forwarded e-mail:
A Christmas Story for people having a bad day
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had finished off the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

It Is What It Was

I will make no excuses, I'm sure I drank more than God would have liked me to last night. So why did I do it? After eight and a half years I thought I owed my co-workers a drink (for me that is). They never pressured me, always accepted me for who I was. I don't care for alcohol all that much, don't like the "drunk" feeling, HATE the hangover and when it comes down to it, I would much rather eat my calories anyway. It was a nice time. A safe time. Still pretty sure I won't be doing that again for another decade or so (or never). Kind of like Haley's comet. If you missed it too bad...I'm sure there are plenty of pictures (damn it!) ;o) Tommy's always trying to get me to "let my hair down" and all I ever do is keep cutting it all off. Poor guy! ;o) Today...so far so good, surprisingly, after only 1 to 2 hours of horrible sleep. Maybe it will catch up with me. Who am I kidding, it will.

No Fear

Psalm 112:1 and 7
1Praise the LORD.
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in his commands.
7He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

I think it was Monday night this week Tommy was up late working on business related paperwork. He never came to bed, he slept downstairs. He seemed deflated most of the next day. I can only imagine what inner struggles he's having and choosing, for whatever reason, not to share. My questions only got small nods and shrugs for answers. I have not been stressed about finances. Ignorance or faith, I'm not sure which is protecting me. Maybe both. ;o)
Today things seem to be better.

Change

I was told that I should write because it's been a while. At that given moment I was thinking to myself "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all." I wanted so badly to vent about this and that but I really don't know what good it would do. It would just reinforce my negative thoughts. What I really need is a good douse of truth. This has been a rough couple of weeks. The lay off, illness, sick kids, travel with the holiday... Brady has been changing so much, I can't believe my little boy has got two teeth. It all takes adjustment. My sleep has been suffering and our schedules have been, well, unscheduled. Haylie seems to be more of a handful every day, so emotional too. I don't know if we're doing something wrong or what. So many things waiting to get done. Now Christmas is nearing not to mention a whole new year. I have no idea what my future holds. Something wonderful I hope. ;o) I know I'll be working either at an office or here at home. An office would be nice because that would mean I could get out of the house. But at the office I don't get to see my kids, the house suffers, the family suffers. It's not an easy job, staying at home. I don't even no if I will get the opportunity to do it. I am for now. I'll have to make the best of it. And that's where I get over whelmed. Trying to be super mom, super wife, super homemaker. I want everything in order, in it's place, and planned out. I look back and I see all the "I's". If I could just let those go. I will have too. ;o)
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

Luke 18:1-8
Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'
"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "
And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

Sad Sunday

Some people get sad on Sundays because their weekend is over. Tonight I couldn't help but to feel a little sad because I'm not going to work tomorrow. Last week at this time I was totally unaware of the fact that the next day was going to be my last in the Real Estate and Development department at Life Time Fitness.
I started teaching aerobics at LTF in January of 1999 while I was home in the Cities doing my internship. I continued after graduating in May and getting a job at Carlson Marketing Group. A year later, things at Carlson had really slowed down for me. One morning after working out I decided to pop my head in the members activities office to speak to someone about yoga. The member activities person (Rachael Carlson) was one smooth talker and before I knew it I was teaching preschool adventure days and kids club classes. My job at Carlson all but stopped so I decided it was time to find a job somewhere else. Rachael put me in contact with someone in HR (wish I could remember her name) at the corporate head quarters. The HR lady told me of an opening in Real Estate and Development with the REALLY COOL guy Robert Salazar (she actually said that, gosh I wish I could remember her name!!). The position he was looking to fill was for a Competitive Intelligences Research Analyst. I could not for the life of me remember the first two words but thought I would give it a try. After talking to Robert I quickly realized it was right down my alley, something a geography major would actually do with their degree (even though my emphasis was travel and tourism ;o). I was excited, Robert was excited and I think Mark (our VP) was maybe a little excited too. (During the interview process it came up that I had worked with maps and done a study on a local health club in St. Cloud, perfect fit, right?!?!) Well, I pretty much excepted the job on the spot (which I KNOW you're not supposed to do, probably why Mark was excited) but that's all history now. Robert IS a really cool manager and he has put together a team of REALLY COOL people, time and time again. Now Real Estate and Development has been reduced to about the same size it was when I started. Of course research processes have changed a great deal. It's neat to think I was a part of it. It's sad to think I don't get to grow that position anymore (I was working more with our mapping software then competitive intelligence aka CI by the time I left). Perhaps I out grew it. I haven't had to look for a job in eight and a half years. It didn't even seem like much of a job hunt the first couple of times, they were almost handed to me. I hear it's a little different now. (This is beginning to sound a little bit like a divorce. It's time for me to get out and start dating again. ;o)
If it's God's will for me to go back to work I hope and pray God will find me the perfect job, just like he did before.
I will of course keep you all posted.

What Are They Doing Now?

Two days post-lay-off. I've baked two loaves of banana bread, I know Kristine baked at least one loaf of pumpkin. People are traveling, interviewing, sleeping in, unable to sleep, pretty much anything goes. Now I'm sick. YUK! I need to go to bed but am afraid I'll be up at 2, like some people, if I go to bed too early. My awesome manager created a new group for us on Facebook. It's nice to still be a part of RE&D.
I texted, Lord help me, it could get to be a new thing. ;o) I guess that's what this is all about though, right?
Well before I get sucked in anymore tonight...goodnight!
Oh, I had a funny dream. I was packing up my office and Jackie was laughing at me and trying on my glasses from the 80's (she looked smashing)that I had stashed in a drawer (really don't) and Marzel Harris (HR) wouldn't talk to me anymore. I must have finally pissed him off by coming to visit him with all my HR issues. And I was just trying to say good-bye too.
OK...discuss. ;o)

A Day Like No Other (P)

It is my first time. Getting laid off, that is. One by one led into the conference room, then to our desks, out the door and finally welcomed to the Legion by those who were led before us. To be followed by even more. It can't seriously be only Monday. It feels like a whole week went by today. Just shy of 10 years with The Company. This is not how I wanted to go. It seems there is no rhyme or reason but I'm sure thoughtfully planned out more then I'll ever realize. It's not like it's uncommon. A lot of people I know have lost jobs at one time or another. It's tough your first time because you are brought to terms with the fact that it "can happen to me". Still kind of numb as I'm sure the people who are left are. Tomorrow they still have to go to work, surrounded by empty cubes and offices, their friends gone. Well, OK, not gone (we didn't die), but it sure feels that way a little. Nothing like trying to e-mail someone, moments after you see them walk by, only to have your e-mail sent back. It's like an execution. Now I know why it's called the chopping block, because it really feels that way. A home that you lived and walked freely in that you're no longer a part of. Business will go on without me/us.

All good things do end. I doubt I will ever work with a group like that again. Even though we had to go, I'm glad we got to go together. I hope the people left can pull together quickly and become something stronger.

It hurts.

It sucks.

It really DID happen.
I trust that this is God's will for me. It's a blessing. It was clearly out of my hands and now as I move forward I hope to leave it in His hands. A clean slate for all, a chance for us all to "realign". I pray my vision can be God's vision for me. Thank you Lord for this opportunity to see you at work, for me to put my trust in you. Let me be a passenger in this ride and not a road block. Help me to love and serve without fear or judgement.

Thank you Lord for all the wonderful people this job has allowed me to know and love. If you are reading this and you are one of them please know you will be thought of often and remembered always.
Love KT (in Christ)

I like to call this one "The Last Supper" The best way to end this post. It would take forever to add all the pictures I would like to and it still wouldn't express the relationships that were formed.

Do Not Worry

Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Open and Honest

Some people are more open and honest about themselves then others. There are things we all keep to ourselves to some extent. Not that I necessarily think anyone is lying to me (at least no more then they are lying to themselves ;o) Why am I on this subject? Well, it's just nice to be able to relate to others and the trials/struggles they go though. Some people either don't seem to have those same struggles or simply don't offer up their personal lives for (can't think of a word, review and comparison are the only ones coming to mind and yet they don't seem to fit 100%. I know we should never compare ourselves or anything we have to others because we always run the risk of judging them or ourselves.)
I remember a time (long ago... ;o) when I was teaching aerobics. It was a VERY early morning cycle class with loyal participants. I always tried to follow my mood and do something different to keep me and my class entertained, so one morning I decided to hand out little pieces of paper and pencils to take prayer requests. I had my class fold them up and throw them in a hat. No names. When I got home from class I opened them up and started praying for them and thanking God for the opportunity to do so. It was beautiful. People asking for their/other peoples health issues, jobs issues, martial struggles, etc. At the end, one piece of paper had really caught my attention. It was a piece that was folded up several times into a tiny little square with nothing on it. I prayed for that person, whoever they were. Can you imagine a heart folded up that same way? Were they afraid of being exposed/judged? Could they not find anything that needed prayer? Did they not believe? It's OK that they did want to share. It gave me the best opportunity to lift that person up to God and let Him decided what they needed. For myself, when it comes to sharing and prayer, I believe the squeaky wheel gets oiled. ;o) God is patient, He has all the time in the world for me to open my heart to Him. Fighting it is futile, He'll get his way sooner or later.
Matthew 11:22-25
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

Haylie (S)

Good-Bye Indian Summer, Hello Winter

McConn household signs of winter:
- Saw frozen water outside AKA ice.
- Found space in three car garage for at least my car (yes, the Neon is STILL in there!)
- Achieved pasty Minnesota white.
- Heard first Christmas song on radio, changed stations QUICKLY.
- Saw my breath.
- Finally put on an actual winter jacket.
- Bought plastic for windows.
- Haylie's obsession with birthday is finally validated, I should probably start planning.

At least the days will start to get longer in a little over a month (silver lining, right?!?)

Will We Ever be Happy?

It seems like there are a lot people who are not happy with our current president. Though he won election after no one seemed happy with our last. With this election, no one seems completely happy with either candidate. I have said myself that I can't wait for another 4 years so we can hopefully have better choices. Then I started to think, have we as Americans ever really been happy with our presidents? Sure Lincoln and Washington we good ones right, but that so so long ago does anyone actually remember why? Why does it seem that for the last two decades (or more) we've been bitching? Here's an interesting article I found. Maybe it will shed some light on the expectations were putting on one human being. No wonder they fall short. The peace we can have...God is ruler over all!

http://articles.latimes.com/2007/jan/14/opinion/op-greenberg14

She DOES Look Like Me (P)

Finally, His Six Month Pictures (P)

I took a ton and I do mean a ton. This one just happened to be the best shot of the bear.
I like this one because it's very much Brady. He's always got that finger in his mouth.
Going to need a little more practice working with two kids...

Did you know?

Very interesting!!
1. What is America 's first line of missile interceptor defense that, protects the entire United States ? 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard.
2. What is the only National Guard Unit on permanent active duty? 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard.
3. Who is the Commander in Chief of the 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard? Governor Sarah Palin.
4. What U.S. governor is routinely briefed on highly classified military issues, homeland security and counter terrorism? Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska.
5. What U.S. governor has a higher classified security rating than either candidate of the Democrat Party? Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska.

Mondays

I can’t say that I feel like I’m being swallowed whole but I definitely feel like my life is slowly eating me up. I feel like I can’t get on top of anything. My house, my family, my job, sleep, my purse (if you really want to know the state of my life take a look at my purse, I have what I need in there but there is also a lot of crap I don’t need and it’s hard to find anything.) I find it hard to believe God would care about my little daily activities like picking up dry cleaning or exercising. I’ve been told he does but how could HE even fit it all in? Seriously?!?! Prioritizing, right? Ya, I know, put the big rocks in first yadda, yadda, yadda. (thanks Franklin Covey for you’re handy dandy day planner that I never used.) First things first. Time with God would probably be good. So can any of you relate? Words of encouragement, advice, scripture, empathy? Anything’s welcome. Of course prayer is always appreciated. Does anyone else need/want prayer? Let me know.
Another thing. It's too bad when, after spending the weekend hanging out with your family, you say "I got nothing done". Tommy said that last night. I can't get mad, I often feel the same way.
Thanks Lord for the time together this weekend!!

Movie Review Time

Tommy and I finally got some "mommy and daddy" time this weekend. We saw the movie FIREPROOF starring Kirk Cameron (Another blast from the past, the NKOTB reunion tour hit the Cities this last week. Check out the friendly review http://roehls.blogspot.com/2008/10/nkotb.html ) The movie is about a firefighter named Caleb who finds himself on the verge of divorce. There are a couple of corny parts (it's slightly low budget) but there are a few good laughs too. Over all the movie is entertaining and has a AWESOME Christian message. I'm sure that many could relate to struggles the couple faces. There was one argument scene that I realized the theater was completely silent and I was almost holding my breath. (and no, it's not because the theater was empty, it was actually hard to find seats) There were several other scenes I found myself looking away a little because I was relating so well that I was a little ashamed. Anyway, if you don't want to spend $20 to see it in the theater check it out when it hits DVD. It's worth it.
http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/
(watch the trailer and PLEASE PASS THIS ON)
Did I mention that it is a little bit of a tear jerker too? Oh and for the guys out there. Tommy liked it too. He did admit he was a little nervous it was going to suck after the first 10 minutes, but it redeemed itself. Or should I say, Christ redeemed it. ;o)

Mr. Brady

It's 5 am and only one of us is where their supposed to be. Tommy's asleep on the couch, Haylie's in our bed and I'm here. ;o) That leaves Mr. Brady who's been a great little sleeper since his shots Friday. His 6 month appt. went well, he's ONLY 20 lbs. 10 oz. We thought he was going to weigh in at more, but 20+ lbs. is still pretty hefty. Ask my back. I'm glad he's a sturdy little guy. Last weekend I put Brady on the floor for some tummy time and then answered the phone. When I turned back around a minute later I saw Haylie standing on him. He wasn't really crying just whining a little and grunting. After screaming I offered a trade in places to see if she would like it but with me on top. Tempting sometimes...

A Whole New World

I still don't fully understand facebook and I'm struggling a bit with the concept (good/bad/ugly)...but I did find this interesting article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/07/magazine/07awareness-t.html

The Garden Patch (S)

From My Quest Bible

James 1:2-5
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

So...God's word says to ask for wisdom right after it talks about enduring hardship and trials. Wisdom must be important to getting through. The note in the side bar of my Quest Study Bible:
'What kind of wisdom can we ask for (1:5)? We can ask for an understanding of who God is and what he is doing through the trials in our lives (vv. 2-4). Though our grasp of God and his mysterious ways will never be complete, we can gain wisdom we need, enabling us to persevere by giving us "eyes to see" what God wants and helping us face many trials.'

My Little Helper (V)

Distracted, as I often am, I turned around from clearing the table tonight to find Miss Haylie had taken over my duties of feeding Brady. Turns out, she's pretty good at it. Who knew the little girl that likes to try to gag her brother with her fingers would successfully be able to spoon feed him.

This I Just Have to Share

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
a small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).
Mixed reviews, if you try it let me know what you think.

********Upon testing*********

Some of the reviews I read on the Internet said it was rubbery and tough. I found it to be more eggy. It really is more of a chocolate souffle than a cake. As I was making it I thought it seemed like an awful lot of egg for one tiny little serving. If you're going to try it FOR SURE watch your time. Mine was done in about two minutes or less (I have no idea what watt my microwave is...it's OLD) Ah well, it was a fun little experiment! At least the cup was easy to clean.

I did it!

I’m SO glad we had two kids. Yes, it’s crazy and in the beginning it felt down right insane, but I’m SO glad. Now that Brady has hit the fun and interactive age of six months, I beam for joy when I see them smile and laugh at each other. Of course it’s not all smiles and laughs but who’s keeping track? ;o) I remember is took about the same amount of time after Haylie was born to realize I had gotten what I wanted…a baby. In a way I’m jealous of their forming relationship but at the same time so proud of myself for ignorantly taking the leap. I did it!
God help us, I still hope we’re done! ;o) This might not say much about my life, but taking care of two kids is the most challenging thing I've ever done.

Thing One and Thing Two (P)

I've been booted. Miss Haylie has been up EARLY a couple of mornings this week and she's now asleep in my bed. I don't know what has got her up so early, it is rather unusual. Brady's back on some sort of a schedule waking up between 5 and 6am which is a little early for me but it works.
Brady is continuing to grow well. He's starting to sit up and eat baby food and rice cereal. As we all suspected, by his size, he's taken really well to eating food. There have been a couple of weird faces from newly introduced items but nothing has really come back out of his mouth. Speaking of items in his mouth, his toes have been added to his diet. This IS a little bit of a surprise to me considering his size, I didn't think it would be easy for him to get them up there, but like all babies, they have. He loves to smile and grab and I think most of all be mauled by his sister. Even though it does stress me out from time to time how Haylie is right in his face, he really seems to be handling it well. I can already see a bond forming. It's fun to watch. That is until Thing One hugs Thing two a little too tight. (Stole that line from an article I read in Parenting magazine).
I got a rare night out last night. On my way home I called the house and some wise guy decided to have his daughter answer the phone. It was OK, I like talking to Haylie and she's gotten so much better on the phone (no doubt has learned that from her dad.) She asked where I was and I told her. She of course repeated it, "the Mall? Why?" (Duh! She told on me! ;o)
"Mommy bought some jeans."
"For me?!?"
"No for mommy"
"WOW!" (And that's just what she said when I got them home too. Something I've taught her, how to be an encouraging shopping partner.)
She cracks me up telling stories with her big doe eyes and voice that changes pitch in the middle of a word. "And mommy Katie and daddy Tommer and Brady Pete and Haylie Mable and mommy Katie..." Her laundry list of names will often end up with duplicates. "That's Amy, Matt, Mason, Matt, Lukey, Masons house" The other thing that she does that makes me laugh is when she gets excited and starts jumping up and down. It reminds me of the time I was in charge of a session of Kids Club at LTF and I decided it would be a good idea to have the kids sell club members root beer floats. That was the first time I saw what sugar could really do to kids. Bouncing off of walls was not an exaggeration. Ah, the days of ignorance...

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Facts On Sleep

I get so tired! Ya, I know, we all struggle with getting enough sleep from time to time. If you're a parent, especially a mom, I'm sure it's more then once in a while. I'm not a great sleeper, it's true. I need to have darkness, quiet, comfort and have little to no interruption to have a good nights sleep (does this sound like having the planets a line? ;o). I learned that I need vigorous exercise not only for my waist line, but to sleep well. My husband only needs, well, to have his eyes shut. One of my hugest beefs is with the disregard my husband seems to have for my "problem". He's absolutely right that it's not his fault that I can't sleep, but sometimes I just don't feel like he cares. His alarm will go off in the early morning hours and he will not budge. He'll hit snooze for almost an hour after I force him to get up. His phone alarm will go off in the kitchen and he will not budge. His fire pager will go off and he will not budge. Our kids will scream, OK, he sometimes budges but usually only to wake me up. Why doesn't he budge? He certainly is a better sleeper then most, but I think he is actually sleep deprived as well. Yes, when he closes his eyes, he can fall asleep, but the amount of time he allows for his eyes to shut is pretty limited. Going to bed late, waking up early. In the long run we probably get the same amount of sleep. I try my hardest to get all the sleep I can and he tries his hardest to DO as much as he can. Whats worse is that he will never admit that he's tired and that it could actually be effecting him in any way. So what are the facts? I've done a ton of Internet research, usually when I can't sleep, and it seems that sleep is something that people overlook but is just as important to good health as diet and exercise. In fact I know I read somewhere that when trying to lose weight getting sleep is more important then getting up early to workout. Here's a link to WebMD, just a sampling of some of the info I've found... http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/important-sleep-habits . Not that I want to stress anyone out about not getting enough sleep so that they can't sleep (been there, done that) but I think it's good to know if you don't already. If you know about this stuff already, and still don't get enough sleep, I'll be praying for you too. ;o)

An Obsession?

Ever since one dreadful visit to the urgent care, Haylie has been obsessed with "checking butts". (A doctor there took a stool sample when we thought she had vomited up some blood.) It only got fueled from what she witnessed while accompanying me to my OB appointments when I was pregnant with Brady (I had to tell her the doctor was looking at my "private parts" which term was then added to her private medical practice at home as well.) It's been worth many laughs. I'm sure some day she'll embarrass the hell out of me when she trys to "check" someone elses butt when playing with them.
Haylie's pre-school teacher Miss Cori says shes a leader, making sure people are where their supposed to be and doing what their supposed to be doing. I asked if that was her nice way of saying she's bossy. She said no, but what is she supposed to say. ;o) I do love taking my 2+ year-olds directions. "Mom, you go hide and I'll come touch you with this flower and go 'coochie, coochie'". Well, I'm stealing moments here. I better get upstairs before Haylie starts sticking her fingers in Bradys mouth through the rungs of the crib.

It's another girl!!! (P)

Surprise! Nick and Noelle had their second girl early this morning. Blair Francis and everything seems to be good. 7lbs. 6 oz. 21in. long. They had a scheduled c-section for the 10th. She wanted to make it through the weekend for Kristins wedding but was ready to go, so yeah!! Here's a picture from the OR. That definitely is a smile of a women who didn't have to push a kid out. ;o)I'm sure she's a little tired though, Blair was born at 2:46am. (oh, the masked man is of course Nick ;o)

Mommy, daddy and baby (P)

Because of Tommy's FD open house this weekend we might have to wait one more week to meet baby Violet. Brooke sent out some awesome pictures (that's where I stole this one) which makes it SO hard to wait!!

And the Bells Rang (P)

Our stretch of weddings over the last month ended this weekend with a "Grand Finale". My friend Kristin got married at the Basilica in Minneapolis and it was beautiful (almost as beautiful as the Bride ;o) I'm tired and should really be getting to bed so I will write more later. As for Tommy, this pretty much sums it up.

Rice Cereal (S)

For a Loop (P)

Just when you think you've got things figured out kids always go and throw you for a loop. Brady and I have had a rough couple of nights. He's either got a cold, is teething, or is hitting a growth spurt. It could be a combination of two or maybe all three. Haylie also is sneezing and has a runny nose, so I'm pretty sure it's at least a cold. We were going to visit baby Violet this weekend and decided not to take our germs on the road. Brady is not much to worry about but Haylie uses her, hand, arm, shirt, knee, pants, blankie, the couch, my shirt, arm, knee, pants, etc. as a kleenex. Even though we may have saved Baby Violet this weekend, it's only the beginning and it's bound to get worse. Mommy noticed a scratchy throat this afternoon. There is no escaping. Oh well, we've had a good stretch. At least Brady is now five months old, not to mention "healthy" in size. Hopefully we won't intercept anything that would put him in the ER/hospital this time (I'm speaking of Haylie's bout with RSV at 7 weeks old). Welcome to the unofficial start to cold and flu season!

I forgot how much fun it is to clean up pukey sheets too!

Isn't it Ironic?!?!

I was finally forced to tell my husband this weekend that I misplaced my engagement ring. It was left at his family's cabin upon our last visit a month and a half ago. After talking to his brother and having heard him say he saw it sometime that weekend, I was not worried and decided it could wait until his parents next trip up there (after all it's four hours away!) His mom and dad looked for it this last weekend as they were closing up the cabin for the season and said they could not find it anywhere. I really don't remember where I left it. The cabin is not frequented by many and all who go are family. If someone had broken in and taken it, I'm sure there would be other things missing and of course, sign of a break in. Now for the funny part. Over six years ago (two months after we were married, mind you)Tommy lost his ring in the lake while water skiing...or so we thought.
I get a call today,
My mother-in-law Beth:"Did Tommy's ring have an inscription in it from Colossians?"
Me: "yeessss?" (how does she remember that?!?!).
Beth: "They found it!"
Me: "They found it in the LAKE!?!?"
Beth: "No, it was in the boat. They found it as they were cleaning it up to sell it!"
Just when I was beginning to think it was fitting that both rings found their resting place at the Lake, Tommy's has to go and get found. Man, now I am in trouble! ;o) Actually I'm not worried, I have faith. Where ever it ended up, it's in God's hands. Now I guess it's my turn to go get the cheap silver band until mine pops up somewhere. How long will it take? Only God knows. ;o)
Colossians 2:2 (the inscription)
My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ.
What can I say, I'm encouraged!! ;o)

Baby Violet (P)

Until I can getup there and take a ton of pictures, this ONE will have to do (courtesy Grandma Engleman).

An Act, Not a Feeling

Mercy, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender.

I was reminded by a friend that forgiveness is an act, not a feeling. It is within my power to forgive, but I will not be able to let go of the offense unless I am willing to have mercy on the offender. Once I find mercy for them I will then be able to forgive. Makes sense. Mercy is a noun and forgive is a verb.

So where do I get me some of that mercy….Oh ya. ;o)

Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in out time of need.

It's a GIRL!!

Haylie and Brady got a new cousin this morning. Violet Jane McConn was born to her mommy Brooke and daddy Chris at 5:41am. Sounds like family is well. Their baby girl is a healthy 7lbs. 14 oz. and 21 in. long. Can't wait to meet her, now we just have to figure out how soon we can get there!! ;o) Pictures will OF COURSE follow.

Hope and Hearts Run 2008 (S)

Getting Up

I'm blessed, I know it, I'm a morning person. It's hard for me to lay in bed and relax in the morning and sleeping in is anything after 7am. Since kids, I have learned to go back to sleep once in a while if I really need to. On the opposite end of things though, I can be a pooh if I have to stay up much past 10pm. Tommy is a night person. It's almost torture for him to go to bed before 11pm and it's just as painful for him to get up in the morning. The pain is usually mine however. ;o) His job requires some pretty early hours. Mixed with his late nights it can make for a pretty rough morning. He will set his alarm for say, 5am. It will go off and I'll roll over and tell him to get his butt out of bed and turn it off (it's across the room for good reason). I wait for him to get out of bed and then wait to see what he's going to do next. Most of the time he'll hit snooze and crawl back in where he then faces a groggy lecture from me about how I'm going to be PO'd if his alarm keeps waking me up every few minutes, or worse yet, prevents me from falling back to sleep altogether. Some mornings I can sense his struggle not to crawl back into bed as he stands there after getting up to turn it off. The snoozing can go on for up to an hour or more until he finally comes around to realize he's late. It then of course becomes my problem because I didn't get him up. Meaning I didn't actually stand him up and walk him out of the room because my nudging him and his responses to my "are you getting up?" are usually not remembered. Getting Tommy up is like waking a hibernating bear. You can imagine how much fun that is. ;o) Being a morning person, it's really hard for me to understand NOT being able to get up in the morning or really sleeping in for that matter. That doesn't mean that I'm not tired some mornings, because I am. But with kids you really DO have to get up and start functioning otherwise there's trouble, usually in the form of cheerios all over the floor or crayon on the wall. I don't even set an alarm most of the time because I know I'll get up sooner rather then later. I get a kick out of peoples alarm habits. Hitting the snooze a million times or even taking the alarm back to bed with them and holding on to it so they can just press the button when it goes off again! Oh, and how about the people who set the clock ahead 15 minutes or more so it SCARES them out of bed! I find it ridiculous. Of course most people would find me annoying, so I guess we're even. Well, it's almost time for me to go to bed, don't want to turn into a pumpkin ya know. Sleep tight!! ;o)

Lazy Days (P)

Our weekend was pretty laid back, at least for me and the kids. Tommy spent the whole weekend prepping, painting and attaching is pretty new fenders to his semi-truck. Brady, Haylie and I hung out with Auntie Sarah and grandma and grandpa Conn a little, but other then a couple of garage sales and a trip to the Chanhassen pool, we really didn't do much. The garage sales we hit were on our block so I got a chance to introduce myself to a couple of our neighbors. Most of the people on our block have kids that are grown, or nearly grown. One couple, pretty much in our backyard, has young kids, their youngest being a girl just about a year older then Haylie.

The school year begins tomorrow and I have a parents orientation in the morning for Sonshine Corner, a preschool at our church. Brady and Haylie will get to spend two days a week with grandma Conn this coming year and on those days Haylie will attend a class from 9 to 11:30. Perhaps we can pick up potty training again here in the next couple of weeks. We'll see if I'm ready for a second try. ;o)

I do long a little bit for the days of my youth, where a weekend as splendid as this one was, could have been spent laying in the sun and chilling with friends. Even though I did get a little stir crazy, I'm sure the time with my kids can never be replaced. Hopefully the next lazy weekend we get can be spent with dad.

The fenders look great, but just like when you clean or replace one window and you realize how dirty and run down the rest of the them are, I think Tommy is feeling the same about the rest of his truck. Winter project!!

Keeping Record of Wrongs

A women of integrity walked back into my life yesterday that I sadly had not seen for years. She was my aerobics coordinator from my days in the club. A no bulls**t kind of gal. Just in passing in the hallway yesterday, when I said I liked working for corporate she asked "why?". No surface crap for her. As much as I like that about her, it's scary. No place to hide. Great for management of a group fitness department that can come jam packed with drama.

Though this women and I were never super close, she was a voice of support and accountability for me while I was just beginning to learn what it meant to walk with God. (I'm of course still learning). In the midst of an icky struggle she reminded me that "Love does not keep record of any wrongs" (From 1Corinthians 13). She said that if she didn't confront a person about a grievance she had with them within 24 hours, she would wipe the slate clean, like an etch-a-sketch.

I need to remind myself that if I'm keeping record, creating a list of "charges" against someone, I'm not loving them. Man, it's hard to forgive like God does. I find myself just wanting to hold on. For what purpose, I don't know, all it helps me do is make them feel guilty or defensive. What about repeat offenders? God wants me to keep forgiving them? Wait, take the question mark out of that...God wants me to keep forgiving them. Not easy. But if it were me, I would want forgiveness without strings attached.

So why is it so hard to forgive? Why do I want punishment, the very thing I myself deserve and yet don't want? Is that what love is about? Is it my place to sit in judgement? I know the answers to all those questions and yet I still ask them. I guess all I can do is pray that God give me the same mercy and grace towards others that He gave me and then leave it up to Him. The next question...do I trust Him enough to leave it with Him? What choice to I have. I've already tried and failed my way, again and again...and again. Now who is the repeat offender? ;o)

Let the Good Times Roll (P)

Sunday afternoon/evening turned into an impromptu gathering with friends…and family. There were eight adults, eight children (including the one still in the oven) and lots of chaos. I love my children dearly and enjoyed seeing everyone but it was crazy. Our friends are great, their always helping out, it’s kind of like having a big family even though I’m an only child. Whether you were there on Sunday or not, I’m grateful to know so many truly wonderful people. So bring your chaos our way anytime or feel free to join in on ours because I’m pretty sure we have enough to go around.

For the McConns who didn't make it to the wedding, here's a picture. Ya, I know it's not much, but even with grandpa and grandma around, two kids at a wedding is a full-time job. I'm really bummed I didn't get a picture of Jackie, Julie, Katie and Angie together, they all looked HOT!

I got to touch the belly! I got to touch the belly! The bun in the oven I was referring to earlier. ;o) I forget how tall Noelle is. Oh wait...I mean how short I am.

The Crib (S)

I knew Brady was heavy, but I didn't think he was over 18 pounds!! At his four month appt. he weighed in at 18 lbs. 1 oz. Haylie was 19 lbs. 1 oz. at her one year appt. No wonder I have arms of steel and am always tired at the end of the day! Last weekend my great uncle Jack almost tipped over when I handed Brady to him. My daycare lady has also stopped helping carry Brady to the car in his car seat. I think I've earned a massage, now I just have to find the time!

Brady doesn't get much time to hang out on his back so the other night when Brady was playing in his crib and Haylie wanted to join him, I agreed. *click on "view all images"

Sing, Praise, Proclaim!

Psalm 96:2
Sing to the Lord, praise His name; proclaim His salvation day after day.

Often when I'm alone in my car, I will sit in silence and construct a dream house or plan my evening at home. Every once in a while I might grab the phone and try to catch up with someone. Or worse yet, I will dwell on negative thoughts or feelings and make little agreements with Satan in my head. Even though I'm not always in the mood, I can never go wrong by turning on the radio and singing along to praise and worship songs. I remember when I first started going to church I hated the singing portion. It's not because I don't sing well, because I really don't, but it just wasn't natural to me, something I wasn't used to. But after a while I realized that singing songs at church, or anywhere for that matter, really put me in a different mind set. It helped me to focus on God and not all those other things. It helped me to remember His blessings and be thankful for His salvation. I still like to construct dream homes and talk on the phone, but it's good to sing praises to the Lord and hopefully I will learn to do it everyday. Even though it didn't come natural to me, it was what I was made to do.

If anyone else needs a pick me up and you live here in the cities, try KTIS 98.5. They also have an Internet connection on their website (link at bottom of the page).

I Just Can't Help Myself (P)

Getting a new camera to use, I can't help but live behind it a little. Just call me and I'll be there to take a picture of it.